My Travels (Day 2)

The group awoke bright and early after only a few hours of sleep, before the sun had even gotten itself out of bed to greet the world. Garrett and Matt were just as eager as I was to fulfill the dream that Calvin and Hobbes imparted upon us and without hesitation we set out on the next leg of our journey. We soon began scouring the city of Whitehorse in search of one-dollar scratch lotto tickets and packages of beef jerky. With our gathered funds we bought five thousand of the scratch lotto tickets for our personal use and eighteen pounds of gas station quality beef jerky for later consumption. Taking turns we all bathed in the gas station bathroom and before the attendant could catch on to our scheme we were off, once again driving in our rent-a-car through Whitehorse.

We soon turned ourselves northward and began our 700 mile journey towards the beautiful yet elusive Beaufort sea. With many chants of "Yukon Ho!" and "Onwards and Upwards!" we speedily drove through the frigid northlands of Canada. Somewhere off in the distance would be our home for the next few days, and all of us desperately wanted to set up camp and begin what would obviously be a journey of both the mind and soul. It was a long drive so we brought our collection of eight tracks and cassettes, listening to our fair share of ABBA and Frank Sinatra while we drove. We took turns driving, switching every two hours and forty three minutes to keep ourselves full of energy and those who weren't at the wheel began scratching our lotto tickets, and I don't think I need to explain how exciting scratch lotto parties really are. We were all seeking that big win but for the moment it seemed to elude us, only receiving thirty four free games and a single two dollar ticket from the first seven hundred we scratched. While driving we stopped for gas a few times, filling our tank full of very expensive gasoline and sometimes diesel just to mix it up a little bit. We traveled all the way to the city of Dawson, didn't stop because Dawson is well known as the molestation capital of the world and continued north. Right after we left eagle plains, Garett discovered something amazing, he had won $25,000 on a scratch and lotto ticket. The hurrah's that ensued were deafening and I am sure that the wildlife in the area will never recover from the devastation our rejoicing caused.

Finally, after many arduous hours of driving, we made it to the Beaufort sea and in the word's of Matt "Holy fucking balls this is beautiful as shit." I don't think it could have been said any more eloquent than that. It was four in the afternoon when we arrived and their was almost no daylight left to work with so we hastily set up our tents and established our camp. Using the Igloos for dummies bought on overstock.com that Garrett had wisely bought beforehand we learned to pile snow around our tents to insulate them and by ten that night we had a full fledged lodging equipped with bathroom, kitchen, three bedrooms and a parlor. We slept well that night, the frozen waves of the Beaufort sea lulling us into a wonderful dreamland with the promise of more wonder to come the next day.

My travels (Day 1)

The journey began at 3:30 in the morning on October thirty first, five glorious years after the SPECTACULAR failure of Y2K. I awoke after a restless night, ready to go on this wonderful adventure into the brave new world that is the Yukon territory. I was up so early to make sure I was on time to the airport and sat myself down to enjoy a bowl of delicious captain crunch with crunchberries while looking over for one last time the Calvin and Hobbes book that would be my guide to the wonders of the Yukon. I had packed my single suitcase the night before, filling it with items that would no doubt be extremely important in such a wild and untamed land. I took my monthly shower early, not knowing when the next time I would be able to bathe once more and walked out the door at exactly 3:13. I arrived at the airport slightly before 4:50 ready to be on my way and eager to see what Canada had to offer in the way of carnal pleasures entertainment.

I waited for several hours going through more than a dozen delicious coke-a-cola beverages for my fellow traveling compatriots to arrive at the airport. Matt and Garrett, my traveling amigos, finally did arrive a little after noon, and their was much joyus greetings with handshakes and hurrah's abound, and with great glee did we gather our tickets for our 2:30 flight and prepare for what would be the most epic luggage search ever. After the arduous process and several delays due to Matt's possession of a dozen battery operated "self pleasuring devices" we managed to make it to our terminal with twenty minutes to spare. Not wanting to let the fun fade we soon took out a portable copy of Risk which Matt had brought and began a game of world domination. Luckily due to some extreme strategy and a bit of luck Garrett managed to sweep the table with us just before our row was called to board.

The flight was an epic journey in and of itself, from the knife fight to the noodle eating contest their was hardly a dull moment during the ten hour flight. Not even our brief delay at Vancouver did anything to dampen our spirits, while we were in British Columbia (which is well known as the worst province in good Canada) we still could not be any more excited for the journey. Soon our plane was off once again and within just another few hours we had arrived in Whitehorse, Yukon Territory late that night. After many more Hurrah's and much jubilation among the group we searched for a car rental company and soon found one willing to rent to an eighteen year old. We slept in the car that night, eagerly awaiting the remaining part of our journey.