Russell Crowe looks damn fine in a suit. No one looks as damn fine as he does in a suit. Seriously, look at how that motherfucker carries himself, he looks like he just got an award for best motherfucker in a suit then shot the man who gave him the award for looking like a pussy. Russell Crowe is so fearsome in a suit that if he was walking down the street the pavement itself would part ways in fear of him.
Russell Crowe eat's babies. And none of that pussy cooking them first bullshit either, he just eats babies whole like a goddamn man eating walrus of some kind. You bring your babies to Russell Crowe he will devour your kid and then punch you in the mouth for being such a shitty parent. This photo is of Russell Crowe cooking dinner, but instead of cooking he's just planning on sucking that childs brain out through a straw and then calling you a bitch.
Russell Crowe is so damn manly he makes cowboys look like pussies. This is a picture of Russell Crowe sitting next to motherfucking Christian Bale and all you can think is "motherfucking shit does Christian Bale look like a pussy next to Russell Crowe." You know why? because Russell Crowe is all that is and ever will be man. Russell Crowe once ate a whole horse raw just to prove that he could do it, then killed all the witnesses because they were too weak to deal with his manliness. Russell Crowe is cooler than the Holocaust, do you have the balls to argue? I didn't think so.
Russell Crowe spends time with animals. Why does he do this? No one really knows, but what we do know is that he does it better than you. Do you see that dog? That dog is hanging out with Russell Crowe. That dogs balls must be the size of motherfucking grapefruit if Russell Crowe allows it to spend time with him. I once heard a story that Russell Crowe was walking around a Savannah for shits one time when a lion actually bowed in front of him. Obviously Russell Crowe ripped off the lions head and wore it like a hat for the rest of the trip. Russell Crowe is a motherfucking pimp.
Russell Crowe IS the second coming of Jesus, need proof? Watch L.A. Confidential and tell me that man isn't Jesus II. That's right, he's that fucking awesome. Go on, watch it, you'll see that movie, get a raging hardon for Russell Crowe, and realize "son of a bitch, that is Jesus Christ in the flesh" no one that has ever met Russell Crowe has ever walked away an athiest, he is all that is good and holy.
Russell Crowe regularly builds and pilots replica 1600s Spanish Galleons for no better reason than he can. At one point Russell Crowe invaded Guam by himself and burned the whole country to the ground just because he felt like it. Don't believe me? Here is proof: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holocaust#Victims_and_death_toll
Russell Crowe is sexy as shit. Look at this photo and try and tell me you arent turned on. You cant can you, you know why? because he is the best looking person that has ever existed. There has never been a human being as physically attractive as Russell Crowe is, and if there was Russell Crowe would just kill and eat that persons heart to gain all of their powers. Russell Crowe is so sexy he doesn't need porn, if he wanted to beat off he would just look in the mirror and do it. But Russell Crowe doesn't need to beat off because he isn't a worthless bitch like you are, women kill to have sex with him and men wish they could.
Russell Crowe is not bound by time or physics. It is a well known fact that at the end of Gladiator Russell Crowe actually went ot heaven, punched god in the face, and brought his wife and child back to life so he could hang out with them at his pimp mansion. Russell Crowe actually went back in time to the 1950s to research his role for the movie L.A. Confidential, he ended up actually creating the helical model of DNA while he was there out of boredom.
Russell Crowe makes black people laugh. You know why he does that? Because he is fucking awesome as shit. Russell Crowe granted Denzel Washington with his presence one time and Denzel found Russell Crowe to be motherfucking hilarious. Russell Crowe considered becoming a stand up comedian, but he decided against it because he couldn't kill enough people fast enough as a comedian, so he decided to become a pimp instead.
Russell Crowe knows how to do science. Don't believe me? look at those fucking glasses. You don't have glasses like that because only people who do science where those fucking glasses. Russell Crowe does so much motherfucking science on a daily basis that it makes Einstein look like a little bitch. Russell Crowe can be directly linked to inventing everything that is awesome, including but not limited to; Dinosaurs, Gravity, Lasers, Tanks, Jetpacks, Robots, Sharks, and Liquid Nitrogen.
